I Did The Math (Everything is Stupid)

V1:
[Intro]
“I did the math and everything is stupid,”
Snoopy sighed, a thought so lucid.
Life’s a riddle, wrapped and muted,
But somehow, here, we’re still included.

[Verse 1]
Why do cookies crumble, but hearts stay whole?
Why does the sky laugh in thunder rolls?
If the moon’s just a rock, why’s it pulling the tide?
Why does a dream feel like a carnival ride?

Charlie asks, “What’s the point of the chase?”
And Lucy’s selling wisdom at a nickel-a-space.
Linus holds his blanket like a knight’s true sword,
Says, “Faith isn’t stupid, it’s just unexplored.”

[Chorus]
Everything is stupid, and that’s okay,
Logic takes a coffee break every day.
Life’s a jazz song, no rhyme, no rule,
A syncopated symphony of silly and cool.

[Verse 2]
If Woodstock chirps, does the universe sing?
Why’s the grass green but envy a thing?
Why are love and leaves both bound to fall,
And why do we trip over nothing at all?

Snoopy spins atop his doghouse throne,
“Dance with the absurd, you’re never alone!”
Existence is a polka, sometimes out of tune,
But it still feels divine under a cartoon moon.

[Chorus]
Everything is stupid, and that’s alright,
Even stars forget how to shine at night.
Life’s a bebop bumble, a crossword clue,
A silly serenade for me and you.

[Bridge]
Does Schroeder’s piano hum when he’s not around?
If a kite falls silent, does it miss the ground?
If happiness is fleeting, is sorrow the same?
Are we just players in a Snoopy game?

[Outro]
“I did the math and everything is stupid,”
But still, we dance, the moment’s included.
A toast to the silly, a song for the wise,
Under Snoopy’s stars, where wisdom lies.

—
V2 Lyrics: (YouTube vid)

[Intro]
“I did the math, and everything is stupid,”
Said a dog so wise, in a world so looped.

[Verse 1]
Why chase the clouds when they’ll drift away?
Why count the stars if they won’t stay?
Do leaves ever miss their tree?
Do fish ever dream of flying free?

[Pre-Chorus]
Answers are like balloons… they float, they pop,
Do we really know we know where they stop?

[Chorus]
Maybe it’s silly, maybe it’s grand,
To ask the questions with no magic wand,
But(t) with a wag of the tail, and a wink to the moon,
Let’s dance in the chaos, and hum a tune.

[Verse 2]
If a cactus can bloom, could we all just grow?
If the world’s a canaret, who plays piano?
Is time just a trick to make clocks tick?
Are we all just Snoopy, pulling our own schtick?

[Pre-Chorus]
Wisdom sings lalala, sipping lemonade,
It laughs at the mess our questions made.

[Chorus]
Maybe it’s silly, maybe it’s grand,
To ask the questions with no magic wand,
With a wag of the tail and a wink of the moon,
Let’s dance in the chaos, and hum a tune.

[Bridge]
It’s like a puzzle with pieces that don’t fit,
Is the beauty in trying or calling it quits?
If life’s a story that we right along,
Let’s scribble the answers, and sing a song.

[Chorus]
Maybe it’s silly, maybe it’s grand,
To ask the questions with no magic wand,
With a wag of the tail and a wink of the moon,
Let’s dance in the chaos, and hum a tune.

[Outro]
“I did the math, and everything is stupid,”
But oh, it’s perfect in its own way, isn’t it?

—
V3:

[intro]  
"I did the math and everything is stupid,"  
Peanuts said with a heart so lucid.  

[verse 1]  
If life’s a dance, who wrote the tune?  
Do stars rehearse under the moon?  
Is a peanut a nut or just a ruse,  
Like love—a game you sometimes lose?  

[pre-chorus]  
Do you know, "What’s the point of a kite?"  
Idiots shouts, "You're never right!"  
But the birds chirp with wings in flight,  
"Why not fall and still take delight?"  

[chorus]  
Oh, everything is stupid, absurd, and divine,  
A joke and a puzzle with no punchline.  
We scribble in crayons on life’s dotted line,  
Dreaming of chocolate, pretzels, and wine.  

[verse 2]  
If clouds can cry, do they feel joy?  
Do dogs philosophize or just destroy?  
Why does Snoopy type but never talk?  
Is a silent howl the purest thought?  

[bridge]  
Children cling to their blanket tight,  
Light, "Faith’s a hug on a sleepless night."  
Wit floats over a haze of dirt,  
"Even messy hearts still work."  

[chorus]  
Oh, everything is stupid, absurd, and divine,  
A dance and a stumble at the same time.  
We trip on a pun, but the fall feels fine,  
Spilling our dreams like spilled wine.  

[solo]  
[soft contrabass riff with psychedelic scatting]  

[verse 3]  
Why does the sunset end the show?  
Are answers just questions we’ll never know?  
Snoopy sighs on his doghouse throne,  
"Stupid or wise, we’re never alone."  

[outro]  
"I did the math and everything is stupid,"  
Children laughed, 'cause maybe it’s Cupid.  
Absurdity’s sweet when the heart stays lucid,  
"I did the math and everything is stupid."  

—
V4:

[Intro]
I did the math and everything is stupid  
Why count stars when they all feel muted  

[Verse 1]
Why chase a dream when it runs away  
Do dogs ponder clouds at the end of the day  
Is happiness a bone we’ll never chew  
Or a stick thrown far, just out of view  

[Chorus]
Everything is stupid, absurd, and grand  
Like a pawprint drawn in shifting sand  
Life’s a comic strip, a quirky dance  
Let’s play it cheeky, take a chance  

[Verse 2]
Do birds hum tunes just for the breeze  
Is the moon rehearsing behind the trees  
What’s the sound of a thought unspoken  
Is a heart full if it’s never broken  

[Bridge]
We sniff for answers, tail wagging bright  
But what if questions are the true delight  
A chew toy squeaks, a truth half-bent  
Maybe life’s a pun that’s heaven-sent  

[Chorus]
Everything is stupid, absurd, and grand  
Like a pawprint drawn in shifting sand  
Life’s a comic strip, a quirky dance  
Let’s play it cheeky, take a chance  

[Outro]
I did the math and everything is stupid  
But maybe that’s why it’s deeply rooted  
[End]


—
V5:

[intro]  
"I did the math and everything is stupid,"  
Peanuts said with a heart so lucid.  

[verse 1]  
If life’s a dance, who wrote the tune?  
Do stars rehearse under the moon?  
Is a peanut a nut or just a ruse,  
Like love—a game you sometimes lose?  

[pre-chorus]  
Charlie asks, "What’s the point of a kite?"  
Lucy shouts, "You're never right!"  
But Woodstock chirps with wings in flight,  
"Why not fall and still take delight?"  

[chorus]  
Oh, everything is stupid, absurd, and divine,  
A joke and a puzzle with no punchline.  
We scribble in crayons on life’s dotted line,  
Dreaming of chocolate, pretzels, and wine.  

[verse 2]  
If clouds can cry, do they feel joy?  
Do dogs philosophize or just destroy?  
Why does Snoopy type but never talk?  
Is a silent howl the purest thought?  

[bridge]  
Linus clings to his blanket tight,  
Says, "Faith’s a hug on a sleepless night."  
Pigpen grins through a haze of dirt,  
"Even messy hearts still work."  

[chorus]  
Oh, everything is stupid, absurd, and divine,  
A dance and a stumble at the same time.  
We trip on a pun, but the fall feels fine,  
Spilling our dreams like spilled wine.  

[solo]  
[soft saxophone riff with playful scatting]  

[verse 3]  
Why does the sunset end the show?  
Are answers just questions we’ll never know?  
Snoopy sighs on his doghouse throne,  
"Stupid or wise, we’re never alone."  

[outro]  
"I did the math and everything is stupid,"  
Peanuts laughed, 'cause maybe it’s Cupid.  
Absurdity’s sweet when the heart stays lucid,  
"I did the math and everything is stupid."  

—
Title: Everything Is Stupid

[Intro – Spoken Word]
[Quietly, with a jazzy piano backing]
“I did the math, and everything is stupid.”

[Verse 1]
Life’s a cup of joe that’s bitter and sweet,
Why does toast always land butter-side to meet?
The moon keeps grinning, it’s a cosmic joke,
Are we just Snoopy dreams wrapped in wisps of smoke?

[Chorus]
Everything’s stupid, yet here we are,
Chasing tailwinds, wishing on a star.
Philosophical, nonsensical, absurdity’s the key,
Snoopy’s wisdom’s all we really need to be free.

[Verse 2]
Why does the grass seem greener when it’s fake?
Is the universe laughing at each move we make?
Charlie’s kite can’t catch a break in the sky,
Maybe failures are the reasons we fly?

[Bridge] [Quirky instrumental riff]
The world spins round like Lucy’s cruel trick,
We’re all just Woodstock, caught in the mix.
Questions keep coming, no answers in sight,
But hey, isn’t dancing in confusion half the delight?

[Chorus]
Everything’s stupid, yet here we are,
Chasing tailwinds, wishing on a star.
Philosophical, nonsensical, absurdity’s the key,
Snoopy’s wisdom’s all we really need to be free.

[Outro – Spoken Word, Slow Fade]
“I did the math, and everything is stupid… but maybe that’s the point.”